Grieving for the Church

I was reading Hosea tonight and became suddenly grieved as I discovered similarities between Israel and the church today. Let me state my purpose in this blog clearly - this is NOT to depress you or condemn the church, or anything to that degree. This is to share my heart with you and exhort you to pray for the church more fervently. I was so driven to prayer after being pressed to the point of weeping as these comparisons were made evident to me. I am in unspeakable anguish even now, as I write this.

Hosea 6:4 ~ What shall I do with you, O Ephraim? What shall I do with you, O Judah? For your loyalty is like a morning cloud and the dew which goes away early.
This passage is pretty straightforward. The church is unfaithful. She does not keep her commitments. Her heart is not devoted entirely to her Beloved. I think you know what her distractions are without thinking about it too hard.

Hosea 6:6 ~ For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
We are so consumed by our "burnt offerings", i.e. missions trips, campus ministries, bible studies, etc. Yet we do not even know Him as we ought! How can we say we are serving Him purely out of our passionate love for Him when we do not even make the time due Him every day? When His name barely ever crosses our lips? When He is the last person that we even think of talking to??? Our burnt offerings cannot please Him, when we do not pursue the knowledge of Him first and foremost.

Hosea 7:2a ~ And they do not consider in their hearts that I remember all their wickedness.
How many times have we done something, thinking that no one will ever know? How many times have we failed to consider that we always have a witness, even when we are alone? And that our witness is our Master and our Judge.

Hosea 7:9a ~ Strangers devour his strength, yet he does not know it.
We often do not even know what weakens us. That is how overtaken the church has become by the world. We are desensitized to the very things that are an abomination to our Lord, and do not even feel the rift widening in our relationship with Him as we blindly allow ourselves to be led deeper into darkness.

Hosea 7:10 ~ Though the pride of Israel testifies against him, yet they have neither returned to the Lord their God, nor have they sought Him, for all this.
We know that what we do is wrong, that He is right and what we do only leads to destruction without Him, yet we do not return to Him, and we do not seek Him, in spite of our pain and aimlessness.

Hosea 7:14 ~ And they do not cry to Me from their heart when they wail on their beds.
Even in our deepest, heart-rending pain and grief, we do not cry out to Him. Why??? We have this extraordinary relationship with Him! We are the only ones with this relationship, and yet we act like there is no solution, no comfort, no hope.

Hosea 8:1-3 ~ Put the trumpet to your lips! Like an eagle the enemy comes against the house of the Lord, because they have transgressed My covenant and rebelled against My law. They cry out to Me, "My God, we of Israel know you!" Israel has rejected the good; the enemy will pursue Him.
The church has demeaned holiness. The lists of vile things that Lord hates that are found all over the new testament are also found in the church. The church has ceased to pursue holiness, but Satan pursues the church even more eagerly, to hinder God's work from being done, to try to stifle the glory due Him.

Hosea 8:5b ~ How long will they be incapable of innocence?
Have you heard the things that come out of our mouths? The jokes that we laugh at? The innuendos that we choose to see? It disgusts me, especially when I find it in myself. Imagine how much more it must disgust the Lord who died for our holiness!

Hosea 9:4b ~ Their bread will be like mourners' bread; all who eat of it will be defiled, for their bread will be for them alone; it will not enter the house of the Lord.
All the work that we do, the profits we strive for, is defiled and full of sorrow, because it was not given over to the Lord, but was for our own gain. So congratulations! so many people in the church have just spent their whole lives gaining mourners' bread!

Hosea 9:10b ~ they devoted themselves to shame, and they became as detestable as that which they loved.
The church has devoted herself to shame! If she is not devoted to God, then this is the only thing she can be devoted to! That which she loved has made it like herself! What do we love? How is it changing us? I think this is easily answered by recognizing what our sins are, because the more evident and abundant they are, the easier it is to trace the cause.

Hosea 13:6 ~ As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud, therefore they forgot Me.
He has blessed us so much, yet we are content to live comfortable lives, and convinced that He wants nothing more from us than that! How can we think this way? How can any believer be satisfied with getting a good-paying job, having a nice house, raising a family, going to church every Sunday, and dying??? That is not the purpose He has called us to! He sent ALL the disciples out! He didn't tell any of them to settle down and have a nice, peaceful (by the world's standards) life! Why then, do we think that this way of life is normal? Why are we content with any less than what He has promised us?

Here, however, are some passages of encouragement and hope:

Hosea 6:1-3 ~ Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him. So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth.

Hosea 10:12 ~ Sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord until He comes to rain righteousness on you.

Hosea 11:8a-9 ~ How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I surrender you, O Israel? My heart is turned over within Me, all My compassions are kindled. I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not destroy Ephraim again. For I am God and not man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.

Hosea 12:6 ~ Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually.

Hosea 14:4 ~ I will heal their apostasy, I will love them freely, for My anger has turned away from them.

Please pray with me, in urgency, in love, in faith, that there will be a revival in the church. Pray Hosea 2:23 ~ I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, and I will say to those who were not My people, "You are My people!" and they will say, "You are my God!"

In Whatever Circumstances

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." ~ Philippians 4:11-12

I truly feel that this is what Christ is teaching me right now. With "humble means", compared to my huge ambitions, with a semester coming up in which I am anticipating enormous amounts of stress, in a world full of scarcity, crime and worry, I am at rest and my joy is complete in Christ. I am tempted to worry about the future, and have done so, but not anymore. Doubt (lack of faith) has been a big problem for me, but in this same passage, that is as addressed. The very next verse after speaking of learning to be content in whatever circumstances is more famous than any other verse in this whole book: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I think it's strange how we disconnect this verse from the previous verses. They definitely need to go together to make a complete thought. Why can I be content? Why can I have abundance in the midst of suffering? Why can I be filled while going hungry? Because I have the ultimate entrepreneur on my side! I have limitless resources in my Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills! He fills me spiritually, so that I need nothing. My joy is complete in Him! And if He wants me somewhere, He will make it happen! If I am acting in obedience to Him, He will not leave me alone to fight my battles and push through impossible circumstances. I have every reason to overflowing with joy and contentment!

His Footsteps

I wrote this because I realized how much God is working in the world that we don't even pay attention to. It is so sad how oblivious we are.

Your footsteps thunder across the earth -

How can we not feel it shake?

Are we numb and do not feel Your might?

Are we deaf and cannot hear the rumble of Your armies?

Are we so blind?

Will the rocks cry out,

Their eyes seeing what we do not?

How much more must the earth shake

Before we fall, our knees on the ground in worship?

We need a Healer

To make us to hear,

To make us to feel,

To make us to see.

But do we want healing?

A dark silence is comfortable, like sleep,

Or death.

A Conversation with Father

So, this is a poem/dialogue that I wrote, because my heart was anguished by all the girls I've seen who think they can find real love in a guy, when it comes only from God.

A Conversation with Father

My Father is wonderful, sweet, loving,

I am grateful for His care.

But there are times, when,

His protection overwhelms me.

"My daughter?"

"Yes, Father?"

"Who was that man who was just with you?"

"a friend, Father."

My Father looks at me, concerned,

questioning.

"What does he want from you?"

Exasperating paranoia.

"Father, he's been so good to me!

He tells me how precious I am,

How beautiful,

How his love for me could not change,

How I deserve respect,

How I am worthy to die for..."

My Father's gaze has not left me this whole time.

His eyes seem to be glistening with - tears?

"Has he touched you, My daughter?"

...

How can I answer that?

I don't.

"My daughter, this man has disrespected you,

and even Me.

For even as I made you,

With all the care and tenderness in My heart,

He has dared to touch you,

Without coming to Me, your Creator, for permission.

Furthermore, he has dared to speak words to you,

That only I have made true."

The tears in His eyes have become tears in mine.

"Father, forgive me. He made me feel loved,

and I was deceived."

"My daughter, have you forgotten My Son?

The One who calls you precious?

Who made you pure and beautiful in My sight?

Whose love for you has never changed?

Who gave you respect?

Who proved your worth by dying for you?

With every lash of the whip that scraped blood across His back,

He thought of you.

With every pound of the nails into His hands and feet,

He thought of you.

As He hung there dying, anguished,

As you laughed in His face,

He cried out to Me,

'Father, forgive her. She doesn't know what she's doing.' "

Suddenly, I see Him, My Father's Son,

His hand held out to me, a hole made in it for me.

"This is My Son, who, owning the right,

Earned the right to

Hold you in His arms,

To be your Protector,

To love you,

If you will accept His offer."

"Thank you, Father."

Can You Resist This?

I want to start out by citing one of the many haunting quotes from my favorite book, a Chance to Die, by Elisabeth Elliot, a biography on Amy Carmichael. This quote is actually an excerpt from a letter Amy Carmichael wrote to home.

"You who can resist the half-articulate pleading of many and many a heart today,can you resist this? From millions of voiceless souls, it is rising now- does it not touch you at all? The missionary magazines try to echo the silent sob. You read them? Yes; and you skim them for good stories, nice pictures, bits of excitement - the more the better. Then they drop into the wastepaper basket, or swell some dusty pile in the corner. For perhaps "there isn't much in them". Very likely not; "there isn't much" in the silence any more than in darkness, at least not very much reducible to print, but to God there is something in it for all that. Oh! you - you, I mean, who are weary of hearing the reiteration of the great unrepealed commission, you who think you care, but who certainly don't, past costing point, is there nothing will touch you?"

As someone who has been given a great burden for the lost, I found this quote particularly convicting and disconcerting. The context of this quote is Amy Carmichael's earnest plea for prayer, which is a constant theme throughout her life. I was forced to face the awful truth of my lack of prayer for our missionaries, or really for any ministry. Do I pray for them? sure. But in light of this quote, in light of my supposed passion, do I pray as much as I ought? no. ouch. If we think this plea is particular only to the case of Amy Carmichael, we are fools. I believe that this need for support through prayer, for intercession, is in the hearts of all missionaries, of all ministers of God. How many times did Paul ask for prayer in the New Testament? How many times did he thank the church for their prayers? How is the church fufilling it's purpose on earth if it is not building up the church and adding to the church? Are our missionaries not the church? Have they not committed themselves to adding to the church? Where then is our greatest, most powerful source of support (prayer) to be seen? In the 12 people who show up to the missionary prayer meetings? I dearly hope not. However, my own attendance, or lack thereof, does not bode well. We would see a much more unified church, perhaps even a redeeming of who-knows-how-many-more souls, and far more encouraged and uplifted missionaries who can truthfully say that the church supports them well if we actually took the time to get down on our knees for our brothers and sisters every day and throughout the day.

"But you're always so happy!"

Just yesterday, a friend of mine was complaining to me how exhausted he was because he didn't get to sleep in. I replied, telling him how I was in the same condition. "But you're always so happy!" He said that as though my happiness completely invalidated my exhaustion and I was astonished at his thought process. This dialogue set me off on a long train of thought.

I am often told that I am always bright and cheerful, as though that means that my life is perfect. I had to realize that I often use this very idea as a mask. I hide behind the fact that people assume I'm sunny all the time, so that, as long as I keep smiling, no one knows that there is anything less than perfect going on in my heart.

I was also shocked the way in which he treated joy, as though it is rare and only certain people have it. My friend claims Christ as his own, as do many of my other friends who see joy in the same way. Have we not much to be joyful for? Almost every time people ask me why I seem so happy for no apparent reason, I have to reply, "Because Jesus loves me!". I have been redeemed! I am no longer an ugly, filthy, disgusting, broken, battered human being! I am an heir to the inheritance the omnipotent, eternal God has for us! I have been made pure, so that I don't have to be ashamed any longer! Today, in the text for the sermon, 1 Peter 2:9-10 was brought up:

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness, into his marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God; you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

I am chosen! I am of a people for God's own possession! I have been called into His marvelous light! I have gone from not being a people, having no real identity, to being of the people of the Most High! I did not have a purpose, but now I have the most awesome purpose ever!!!! Are we so immune to Christ's love that we cannot feel this joy? That we cannot even ask the Holy Spirit who is living right there inside of us to fill us up with it? Joy is abundant and free! We have only to ask!

The Girl with Death in her Eyes

Darkness surrounds me –
Black behind me,
Black beside me,
But His light is before me.

So many pass me,
Walking into the deep night.
I did not dare look at one,
Until a Voice rang out inside.

“Look at her – the girl with death in her eyes.”

I looked into her eyes and saw
Burning, smouldering, hungry flames.
Terrifying darkness pervades, controls
The girl with death in her eyes.

“She deserves to be told.”
How, oh Lord? HOW?
I don’t know her. I’m too scared.
So I walked on.

These doubts kept nagging,
Cutting me inside.
Still I walked on.

No! I cannot let this happen!
“Wait!” I called out to her.
But I stopped just in time to hear her scream pierce the empty, dark silence
– and my soul.

It was too late for the girl with death in her eyes.

What have I done! I didn’t know!
But I did.
This pain is choking me, strangling me, stabbing me.
LORD, TAKE IT AWAY!
But I need it, Lord, I know.

Don’t take it from me,
Don’t let me forget
The high price for leaving
The girl with death in her eyes.

There is a girl with death in her eyes.