On the Front

This piece sounds depressing, but it actually has a really encouraging point to it, so just bear with me.

On the ground! On the ground! but not all listen to our commander. A lieutenant, a private, a corporal. down. I look around to realize that I am standing in a field of agony.  The fallen are wounded, but few will die. Instead, they gasp at every movement, and their screams claw at my ears with every breath they take. Some will not admit that they have been wounded. They grit their teeth and grab their guns and yell "I'M FINE!", daring you to say otherwise. only to stumble back to the ground in pain. For these bullets do not kill. They cannot kill. Our army is too strong for that. But they tear at our very souls, and leave scars that are not easily removed. The enemy's latest volley has succeeded, to some extent. There are very few left standing. Sir, permission requested to cease firing. My tears are blurring my vision, Sir. Permission denied. But I understand. I will stand. I must stand. It is even more imperative that I fight now. I must fight to protect the fallen until they can stand again. I must fight so that my Commander's honor will be upheld. I must fight for the fallen. I must fight for the honor of my Commander. I must fight for the future of my country. No bullet will take me down. My Commander will lead me into victory. The enemy is powerless against us. I am unstoppable.
                                                                I       will      stand.

what's right with it?

How often have you ever heard that question? The one I usually hear, and say, when someone appears to disagree with an a opinion or an idea is "What's wrong with it?". However, as christians, I think we are completely missing the point when we ask that question. The question itself implies that whatever it is that we want or want to do is ok as long as it's not inherently evil. It implies that there is a neutral ground. Yet I would argue that there is no truly neutral ground. Having a facebook (contrary to my father's belief) is not inherently evil. However, if you are spending a third of your day on it and suddenly find yourself having gone through your day without spending any time with God, I think we agree that there is a problem. The same thing with having a boyfriend, a job, an education - do you get what it is I'm saying? None of these things are wrong. In fact, usually, these things are considered very good things. But if anything, or anyone, is taking your time away from God, and thereby taking your heart away from God, it is a problem. So before you get all defensive when someone seems to be questioning a choice of yours and you demand to know what's wrong with it, examine yourself truly to discern how it draws you closer to the Lord, or how it pulls you away. This morning, in my history class, my history teacher wanted to know what each of us value. And then he told us that it had to be something that we could prove by how our lives have been spent since this morning. What I'm trying to say, is that we can talk all we want about how our heart is with God and how our choices aren't affecting our walks with Him, but how do you prove it? What is right with the choices you have been making? I challenge you to raise your "standard of living" by questioning your own decisions based on how it brings you closer to the Lord, not by if it's wrong or not.

Zombies Exist

Yeah, you read the title right. They really do. I had to read an article for my cultural anthropology class (aside: one of the most spiritually dark classes I have ever seen) in which the author talked about his experience solving the mystery of zombification in Haiti. You see, in Haiti, zombies are widely believed in, based on many stories of people's lost ones coming back to them, after being buried for years, alive. As it turns out, Haiti is largely ruled by secret Voodoo societies, who act basically, with all the authority of the government. These societies choose citizens who are out of favor with them for some reason or another and cover them with a powder. This powder, among many other things, contains puffer fish poison, but just the right amount to slow down a person's metabolism and make them appear dead for an extended amount of time. After being pronounced dead, and buried, these "dead people" are dug up from the grave by the witch doctors and put to slave labor. They are kept in slave labor by being fed an extremely intense drug which inhibits their free will. Very few escape, but those that do only remember being paralyzed and not being able to do anything about their predicament.

I hated this story and agonized over the darkness of the whole situation UNTIL I realized that this is or has been true spiritually of us.

Our sin, however minor it seems, such as gossiping, flirting, or simply wasting time, inhibits our free will to such a degree that we become paralyzed. We allow ourselves to reach this state where we cannot, or don't want to get out of it. Paul says, in Romans 7:15-17, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me." Sound like slave labor much? We are doing what we hate? Don't you find that to be so true when you examine yourself? I despise myself when I see all these filthy things inside of me that reappear day after day that I promised I would get rid of. If this isn't connecting with you at all, you need to spend some time in serious self-examination in the Word. DON'T YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS???

Don't you want to stop being drugged by Satan and doing what he wants you to do? Don't you want to be free??? The solution is not hard to find! In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul tells us that God is faithful, and with temptation, WILL provide a way of escape! The emergency exit door is right there! Often times, when I don't feel like I've been seeing the emergency exit door, I find it's because I've hardened myself to the Holy Spirit. So when that happens, and I don't feel Him poking me when I am tempted, only after I've fallen, I have to pray to be sensitive once again to the Holy Spirit's convictions. Prayer works, guys, and it's not just some cliche phrase! It IS the only way to ask for help! You can't expect to be freed without ever talking to your Rescuer. He is WAITING for us to ask for help, to tell Him that we realize that we can't overcome our bonds without Him. He loves us so much, but He isn't going to force us to seek after His holiness. He gives us a choice to pursue holiness, or find out after the first time we've been zombified, or many years of being zombies, that we have been held in bondage.

I'm pleading with you, right now, PLEASE call on our Deliverer to get you out of that spot. PLEASE take the time to really think about your life, and in what areas have you allowed yourself to become zombified. You have a much higher calling than zombihood. Don't live your life, only to come to the realization that you never lived at all.

Please leave comments, corrections, anything below. I know I may have been a little off or something (it is 12:54 A.M. right now), so please tell me!

Grieving for the Church

I was reading Hosea tonight and became suddenly grieved as I discovered similarities between Israel and the church today. Let me state my purpose in this blog clearly - this is NOT to depress you or condemn the church, or anything to that degree. This is to share my heart with you and exhort you to pray for the church more fervently. I was so driven to prayer after being pressed to the point of weeping as these comparisons were made evident to me. I am in unspeakable anguish even now, as I write this.

Hosea 6:4 ~ What shall I do with you, O Ephraim? What shall I do with you, O Judah? For your loyalty is like a morning cloud and the dew which goes away early.
This passage is pretty straightforward. The church is unfaithful. She does not keep her commitments. Her heart is not devoted entirely to her Beloved. I think you know what her distractions are without thinking about it too hard.

Hosea 6:6 ~ For I delight in loyalty rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
We are so consumed by our "burnt offerings", i.e. missions trips, campus ministries, bible studies, etc. Yet we do not even know Him as we ought! How can we say we are serving Him purely out of our passionate love for Him when we do not even make the time due Him every day? When His name barely ever crosses our lips? When He is the last person that we even think of talking to??? Our burnt offerings cannot please Him, when we do not pursue the knowledge of Him first and foremost.

Hosea 7:2a ~ And they do not consider in their hearts that I remember all their wickedness.
How many times have we done something, thinking that no one will ever know? How many times have we failed to consider that we always have a witness, even when we are alone? And that our witness is our Master and our Judge.

Hosea 7:9a ~ Strangers devour his strength, yet he does not know it.
We often do not even know what weakens us. That is how overtaken the church has become by the world. We are desensitized to the very things that are an abomination to our Lord, and do not even feel the rift widening in our relationship with Him as we blindly allow ourselves to be led deeper into darkness.

Hosea 7:10 ~ Though the pride of Israel testifies against him, yet they have neither returned to the Lord their God, nor have they sought Him, for all this.
We know that what we do is wrong, that He is right and what we do only leads to destruction without Him, yet we do not return to Him, and we do not seek Him, in spite of our pain and aimlessness.

Hosea 7:14 ~ And they do not cry to Me from their heart when they wail on their beds.
Even in our deepest, heart-rending pain and grief, we do not cry out to Him. Why??? We have this extraordinary relationship with Him! We are the only ones with this relationship, and yet we act like there is no solution, no comfort, no hope.

Hosea 8:1-3 ~ Put the trumpet to your lips! Like an eagle the enemy comes against the house of the Lord, because they have transgressed My covenant and rebelled against My law. They cry out to Me, "My God, we of Israel know you!" Israel has rejected the good; the enemy will pursue Him.
The church has demeaned holiness. The lists of vile things that Lord hates that are found all over the new testament are also found in the church. The church has ceased to pursue holiness, but Satan pursues the church even more eagerly, to hinder God's work from being done, to try to stifle the glory due Him.

Hosea 8:5b ~ How long will they be incapable of innocence?
Have you heard the things that come out of our mouths? The jokes that we laugh at? The innuendos that we choose to see? It disgusts me, especially when I find it in myself. Imagine how much more it must disgust the Lord who died for our holiness!

Hosea 9:4b ~ Their bread will be like mourners' bread; all who eat of it will be defiled, for their bread will be for them alone; it will not enter the house of the Lord.
All the work that we do, the profits we strive for, is defiled and full of sorrow, because it was not given over to the Lord, but was for our own gain. So congratulations! so many people in the church have just spent their whole lives gaining mourners' bread!

Hosea 9:10b ~ they devoted themselves to shame, and they became as detestable as that which they loved.
The church has devoted herself to shame! If she is not devoted to God, then this is the only thing she can be devoted to! That which she loved has made it like herself! What do we love? How is it changing us? I think this is easily answered by recognizing what our sins are, because the more evident and abundant they are, the easier it is to trace the cause.

Hosea 13:6 ~ As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud, therefore they forgot Me.
He has blessed us so much, yet we are content to live comfortable lives, and convinced that He wants nothing more from us than that! How can we think this way? How can any believer be satisfied with getting a good-paying job, having a nice house, raising a family, going to church every Sunday, and dying??? That is not the purpose He has called us to! He sent ALL the disciples out! He didn't tell any of them to settle down and have a nice, peaceful (by the world's standards) life! Why then, do we think that this way of life is normal? Why are we content with any less than what He has promised us?

Here, however, are some passages of encouragement and hope:

Hosea 6:1-3 ~ Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day, that we may live before Him. So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth.

Hosea 10:12 ~ Sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the Lord until He comes to rain righteousness on you.

Hosea 11:8a-9 ~ How can I give you up, O Ephraim? How can I surrender you, O Israel? My heart is turned over within Me, all My compassions are kindled. I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not destroy Ephraim again. For I am God and not man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.

Hosea 12:6 ~ Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually.

Hosea 14:4 ~ I will heal their apostasy, I will love them freely, for My anger has turned away from them.

Please pray with me, in urgency, in love, in faith, that there will be a revival in the church. Pray Hosea 2:23 ~ I will sow her for Myself in the land. I will also have compassion on her who had not obtained compassion, and I will say to those who were not My people, "You are My people!" and they will say, "You are my God!"

In Whatever Circumstances

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." ~ Philippians 4:11-12

I truly feel that this is what Christ is teaching me right now. With "humble means", compared to my huge ambitions, with a semester coming up in which I am anticipating enormous amounts of stress, in a world full of scarcity, crime and worry, I am at rest and my joy is complete in Christ. I am tempted to worry about the future, and have done so, but not anymore. Doubt (lack of faith) has been a big problem for me, but in this same passage, that is as addressed. The very next verse after speaking of learning to be content in whatever circumstances is more famous than any other verse in this whole book: "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." I think it's strange how we disconnect this verse from the previous verses. They definitely need to go together to make a complete thought. Why can I be content? Why can I have abundance in the midst of suffering? Why can I be filled while going hungry? Because I have the ultimate entrepreneur on my side! I have limitless resources in my Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills! He fills me spiritually, so that I need nothing. My joy is complete in Him! And if He wants me somewhere, He will make it happen! If I am acting in obedience to Him, He will not leave me alone to fight my battles and push through impossible circumstances. I have every reason to overflowing with joy and contentment!

His Footsteps

I wrote this because I realized how much God is working in the world that we don't even pay attention to. It is so sad how oblivious we are.

Your footsteps thunder across the earth -

How can we not feel it shake?

Are we numb and do not feel Your might?

Are we deaf and cannot hear the rumble of Your armies?

Are we so blind?

Will the rocks cry out,

Their eyes seeing what we do not?

How much more must the earth shake

Before we fall, our knees on the ground in worship?

We need a Healer

To make us to hear,

To make us to feel,

To make us to see.

But do we want healing?

A dark silence is comfortable, like sleep,

Or death.

A Conversation with Father

So, this is a poem/dialogue that I wrote, because my heart was anguished by all the girls I've seen who think they can find real love in a guy, when it comes only from God.

A Conversation with Father

My Father is wonderful, sweet, loving,

I am grateful for His care.

But there are times, when,

His protection overwhelms me.

"My daughter?"

"Yes, Father?"

"Who was that man who was just with you?"

"a friend, Father."

My Father looks at me, concerned,

questioning.

"What does he want from you?"

Exasperating paranoia.

"Father, he's been so good to me!

He tells me how precious I am,

How beautiful,

How his love for me could not change,

How I deserve respect,

How I am worthy to die for..."

My Father's gaze has not left me this whole time.

His eyes seem to be glistening with - tears?

"Has he touched you, My daughter?"

...

How can I answer that?

I don't.

"My daughter, this man has disrespected you,

and even Me.

For even as I made you,

With all the care and tenderness in My heart,

He has dared to touch you,

Without coming to Me, your Creator, for permission.

Furthermore, he has dared to speak words to you,

That only I have made true."

The tears in His eyes have become tears in mine.

"Father, forgive me. He made me feel loved,

and I was deceived."

"My daughter, have you forgotten My Son?

The One who calls you precious?

Who made you pure and beautiful in My sight?

Whose love for you has never changed?

Who gave you respect?

Who proved your worth by dying for you?

With every lash of the whip that scraped blood across His back,

He thought of you.

With every pound of the nails into His hands and feet,

He thought of you.

As He hung there dying, anguished,

As you laughed in His face,

He cried out to Me,

'Father, forgive her. She doesn't know what she's doing.' "

Suddenly, I see Him, My Father's Son,

His hand held out to me, a hole made in it for me.

"This is My Son, who, owning the right,

Earned the right to

Hold you in His arms,

To be your Protector,

To love you,

If you will accept His offer."

"Thank you, Father."