I spent a beautiful last day with you today. Watching the way the sun sparkles in your laughing eyes, and the wind moves your hair in that lovely, fluid wave. Getting tackled and tickled isn’t my favorite thing ever, but i savored every moment of every time you took me down, enjoying your playful, blissful spirit. You were happy today, and that was all my heart needed, or wanted. And I watch you drive away one by one, leaving me in the shadowed parking lot. But i know i’m the one leaving you. I felt the shuddering breath of your buried affection when I hugged you. I saw your eyes fall as you realized how long it might be before we sit side by side, giggling at our own foolishness. And for the first time, I felt my heart truly break to think of leaving. I’m leaving those who know me, the joyful, wide-eyed child. I’m leaving those who have accepted the jagged edges of my soul that have cut them many times over. Who can I find who knows to expect these wounds, and knows how to work past them like you? Must i really leave? I can promise to come back all i want, but deep down i know, it won’t ever be quite the same. Time and distance are the sharpest blades to the ties of friendship. I don’t want to be that person who left you, who used to love you, and still does, supposedly, but never shows it anymore. That person who no longer notices your heart, and unintentionally makes you feel like an insignificant child who you’ve outgrown.
But let’s not think about that right now. That won’t help aching hearts. Instead let’s remember today - your smiles and hugs, and my best birthday present ever.
