Stop Being Fake

I'm talking to you. Not the 10 other people that are popping into your mind right now who you think need to start being real with other people. You. This post may be harsher than usual, because it's something that i'm very passionate about, and, i tried to wait until i could calm down about it, but i realized that that's not going to happen, so just expect it. :P
I'm going to tell you what i have been seeing, and i'm going to tell you that there are quite a few who have expressed the same observations to me. Now, i am talking particularly to the ladies, but guys, i'm sure some of this applies to you too, so don't shrug it off. This is how my conversations with most of you go. I ask you how you are doing, and you say you're fine or you give some christianese answer to deflect the question to make me feel unspiritual if i want to dig a little deeper, or you try to satiate my concern by complaining about school or work and just how busy your life is. Do i want to know the latter? sure. But i when i ask "how are you doing?" i mean it in the deepest sense of the question. i mean in your heart and in your spirit. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me about it, that's ok. But just tell me that. i won't be offended. Oh. side note. When i say "i", i'm not talking about just me. I'm talking about all your brothers and sisters in Christ. This isn't a rant about a personal issue i have to get off my chest. This is a real problem in the body of Christ. And i can tell when you aren't telling me everything there is to tell. When you're saying something surfacey. It just concerns me more. You don't have to tell me what's up. But there are many of you who i am almost certain don't talk to anyone about what's going on. Pick someone. Someone who's grounded in God's word, and who won't just make you feel good when you come to them, but someone who will challenge you when your perspective is wrong. It's biblical! "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17) We're supposed to have that kind of relationship with other believers, and i'm worried that many of you don't have that. I see many of you isolating yourselves completely, because you're afraid of getting hurt or you think your strong enough or something. That's pride. I don't care how - wait, let me rephrase that - i do care how much you've been hurt or whatever, but to let that keep you from building up other believers and being built up by them is sooo wrong. It says you don't love the body of Christ. "Love keeps no record of wrongs" 1 Corinthians 13:5). We're humans. We're going to fail you. You're going to fail us. But that's the beautiful thing about being bonded in Christ! He makes it so that those relationships can be fixed! So that in spite of our own issues, we can draw each other closer to Christ! You need the support of other believers in your life. If you don't have that input, you will end up with some seriously messed up views on life, the body of Christ, and even Christ Himself. It will lead to very bad things.Proverbs 11:14 says "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." Again, i'm not saying you need to open up to me personally, or everyone in the church, but find a few people who you know will be a godly influence and build you up in love, and let them help you and ask Christ to help you to help them. Don't let your pride get in the way. I have a grand total of 2, MAYBE 3 girl friends, with whom i have the capability currently to have this kind of a relationship with. All the others won't let me get that close to them. I find that sad. May i just throw this in there, ladies. A few months ago, i exhorted you to pray for our young men. God is doing some serious work in them now, and we are the ones who are starting to lack a fervor for Christ and the body, generally speaking. Step it up!


Colossians 3:12-14 ~ "Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

I see no room for isolation or nursing wounds in that passage. Get over yourselves. now.

lessons from a caramel frappucino

Hehe, did my title catch your interest? I learned that clever strategy from my junior high English teachers. "You need to have an eye-catching title to get people to want to read your paper!" Sooo... does that mean that if mine's boring, you won't read it, Mrs. Schmuck?(yes, I just addressed a video teacher :P) Cuz I would totally be ok with that. I never got why teachers make an issue with that. :P Anyway... back to my topic...

No I'm not talking about the coffee drink. I'm talking about the lamb I adopted for a week while we were in Baja. He LOOKED like a caramel frappucino, so I named him Frap. Every time I dealt with him, it reminded me of how God deals with us, and helped me understand so much better why Christ calls Himself the Good Shepherd and why we are sheep. I've always heard that sheep are stupid, but I never really knew how stupid until I met Frap. I met him minutes before I was supposed to be holding him in my arms on stage as if I was completely enamored with my new pet. The pastor drove in with Frap in his pickup truck, and Frap was freaking me out. He was jumping 6 feet into the air (give or take a few feet :P) and crashing his body into the pavement when he fell and bleating like crazy. I honestly thought he was possessed. I figured out later, that he was only like that because he was terrified out of his mind because the pastor's dog kept barking at him and he was in a new place. So, I did not end up holding him on stage as planned. Mr. Lovel had to hold him there during the whole skit, with Frap bleating over every line. Do we ever act like that? Act like we're about to die and freak out unnecessarily when some "dog" barks at us (that's a metaphor, btw) or we find ourselves taking to some new place and we don't like it? Do we slam our bodies into the pavement in  absolute hysteria and then complain because it hurt? I know that I'm kind of stupid like that.
Once I had completed my VBS responsibilities for the day, I wandered over to the area where Frap was tied up to see if the little brat had any redeemable qualities. One of our team members had suggested to me to take a firm hold of his side and then start petting him. So, as I approached Frap, he jerked away from me as far as his rope would take him, and when I kept coming, he strained the rope in every direction, as if it would suddenly allow him to go further if he tried it a few inches over. There was nowhere he could go to get away from me, and yet he tried desperately. Sound familiar? I took hold of him, pressing firmly into both his sides, and he stopped. Only then did I start petting him. Our Shepherd has to do that with us, doesn't he? He has to show us that He is in control, and that we're safe (and stuck, in a good way) with Him before He can show us the riches of His love. When I petted Frap and whispered calming things to him, he became silent and peaceful, and nuzzled into me and just rested there, and that gave me the greatest joy. I think Jesus feels the same way when we rest in Him and find peace there. He knows that it's best for us and that we're completely satisfied there, and that pleases Him.
I had brought a whole huge bag of sunflower seeds to feed him, because according to my research, lambs like them. But whenever I offered them to him, he almost never took them. When he did eat them, he liked them alot. But usually, Frap would ignore my gift and instead nibble at random dried-up weeds in his area, or even my hair! And after a while, he wouldn't be satisfied with them and he'd start complaining. I don't think I even need to draw the parallel between Frap and us here. It is quite apparent how often we do the same thing with God. He offers us good food, and when we eat of it, we love it. But so often we don't want it, and we chew at gross things that don't end up making us happy and then we wonder why.
When I would leave Frap, or when anyone would leave him, for that matter, he would start bleating again, and would not stop. It kept people up at night, and they ended up hating him. But anyway, he was lonely. He wanted nothing more than to know that someone was with him. Now, unlike me, God doesn't ever leave us, but I think there is a very important point to be made. Do we even notice if we're not in His presence? We're always in His presence, but if we're separated from Him, I mean. If we left Him, would we feel it? or would we just continue on obliviously? Would we bleat out the moment we realized we weren't near Him? I find that idea very convicting.
There were days that I didn't meet with Frap because I had been an invalid for some reason or another. And I worried that the progress I had made with him would be lost. But I remember after my first day-long separation, I came over to him, and at first, he started backing away again, which he did with everyone who approached him. But I started whispering to him, and the moment he heard me, he came to me. Does that remind you of a certain verse? He recognized my voice and he wanted to be in my love. I cannot tell you the joy I took in that. Are we like that when we hear God's voice? Do we want His love that much?
I have alot more parallels I could draw from that week I had with Frap, but this post is already really long, so I will end here. But if you want to understand Christ and His dealings with us in a really personal way, go adopt a lamb! ;)

worthy of the gospel

Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; in no way alarmed by your opponents - which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God. For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me. ~ Philippians 1:27-30

It may very well be that the above words are the clearest and most true that you will read on this post, because my mind has not been working well the past few days and even expressing myself through writing has become difficult. So feel free to explain what i neglect to, or address something that doesn't sound quite right.
That being said, this passage is a really cool passage. We often hear about conducting ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, but i think we tend to brush over it as one of those "be good now, children" admonishments. What does it really mean? Well, i think it has at least two meanings. The first is that the gospel, if we have the correct view of it, should be the most important concept on our mind. We should be valuing it more than most people value money or popularity. The gospel was created through the death of GOD! He deemed it THAT important! We should, as well. Do we act like we're worthy of possessing it? It's a precious gift, and alot of times, i know i don't act like i have it, much less that i'm worthy of possessing it. I don't think i explained that very well, but the Holy Spirit can explain it to you much better than i ever could anyway.
The second implication of "conducting ourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" is that the gospel should have taken effect in our lives. Because of it, we can live completely free from guilt, shame, slavery to sin, fear, and the list goes on. We can have absolute confidence through Christ! But do our lives days look like that? I know i fail every day, letting fear and my old nature's desire to sin have control in my heart. This should not be so. I have the gospel of Christ. I have purity, boldness, love, longsuffering, and so much more through Christ because i have received His gospel. You have it too. take advantage of that.
The next part of the passage says "so that whether I come and see you, or remain absent, I will hear of you,  that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; in no way alarmed by your opponents - which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God." I can list on one hand the believers i know that are renowned for their steadfastness, zeal for the gospel, and fearlessness of opposition. On ONE hand! Out of how many believers that i know??? and i am not one of those that i could list, just by the way. Our unity in trust in Christ and love for Him should be so vibrant that even those who are nowhere near us are being told of us! God has given us all the same ability to stand out like that in Him. We can't argue that some believers just have stronger personalities or are blessed with more gifts or whatever, because that has nothing to do with it. It is Christ that gives us that power, but we have to allow Him to have His way in us.  
The final point of the passage that i want to address is "For to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake". Paul makes a point of saying that it has been granted, not just to believe in Him, but to suffer. I think alot of the time, we stop with the idea that we have been granted belief in Him, because that is the obvious gift and it's happy and gives us warm, fuzzy feelings and it's easy because we already believe in Him. But we don't think about the fact that we've been granted to suffer for His sake. Granted. That's a gift too. But if we're even mature enough to expect suffering for His sake, we don't act like it's a gift. We ask for God to make it stop and make it easy for us.  I'm not saying that it's unreasonable for you to not want to suffer for Him, because as a human being, it's totally natural. But as those striving to be more like Christ and bring Him more glory, i do think it is something that we should begin to accept as a gift.

Convicted by the Man with the Umbrella

Today found me standing miserably in pouring rain with a friend of mine, getting soaked to the bone while waiting for the bus that didn't show up. Seeing as neither of us were dressed for such an unfortunate circumstance (aside from my rain boots), we were freezing. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger walked up to us and offered us shelter under his umbrella. I was naturally suspicious, due to my past experiences with strange men at bus stops, but we gratefully accepted his generosity and he proceeded to make polite conversation, explaining how he "felt like a sucker, being a skinny dude with a big umbrella and seeing two poor girls getting cold and needing shelter". He behaved entirely honorably the whole time, and for the rest of the day, this incident has bothered me, and I know precisely why. Had I been in the same situation as that man, I would not have offered my umbrella to complete strangers. And, unlike this man, I have been charged by the Most High God to do far more than that for complete strangers. 

Matthew 25:35-40 ~ "'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’"

I know we have all heard this passage quoted until we have numbed ourselves to it. But think about it. What if we actually treated strangers like they were God??? Not in the sense that they have His authority, obviously, but what if we treated them as though they were as important? Here's a radical thought: what if we actually did on a daily basis what God has been telling us to do for thousands of years? And what if we didn't esteem ourselves as super spiritual after every time we did something little like that? What if we didn't do it because we wanted to get an opportunity to stuff Christianese down someone's throat and chalk up bonus Jesus points? What if we actually did it because we sought from God a real love for these people? It's time for me to step it up, and by "me", I mean let God actually have His way in my heart and not be selfish and so focused on myself that I don't notice the needs of these other people that God happens to love just as much as He loves me, even though I don't know them! He doesn't just love the people I already know and who are already in my life, so why do I act like it? Being shy and timid and having a hard time getting words out of my mouth is no excuse for not showing love to everyone. Moses had similar issues, and he had to talk to HOW many people??? Jeremiah was hesitant because he didn't feel adequate, but did God just say, "oh yeah! I forgot you're scared of people and you don't think your competent to do My work! Let Me go find someone else who's overconfident and perfect, so that they don't mess up My plan!" I know my God doesn't make mistakes and I know my God is stronger than my patheticness, and I will not pretend He's a liar just because I want to be selfish.

"sensible"

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age.

Titus 2:11-12

This passage was brought to my attention this morning in Sunday School, and it rather startled me, because the word "sensible" isn't necessarily one that is commonly connected with New Testament ideas. In the New Testament, we find radical actions, such as selling everything you have to give to the church, or giving up your career, family, and social standing to minister nomadically to churches around the world. "Sensible" doesn't really seem to fit into the picture. In fact, "sensible" seems to kill the excitement of it all.  Now, for myself, I am not a particularly sensible person, so I always liked the idea of christians being a bunch of crazies that no one can understand, because I wouldn't have to explain why I just blew a hundred bucks for someone's birthday. "Oh, she's a christian, you know how they are. Money means nothing to them! They should all be homeless by now!" Is there some validity to this kind of "christian foolishness"? Of course! Nothing we have is really ours, as I'm sure you've heard. We are supposed to surrender everything we have and everything we are to the cause of Christ. But I know for myself at least, I don't do it for the cause of Christ all the time. I do it for good reasons, like because I love someone and I want them to know that, or such, and I'm not saying it's wrong to do that. In fact, I'm one of the biggest advocates for that kind of love that you will ever meet, but I realized that I don't do it for Christ alot of the time. I do it because it makes me happy. And, it hasn't really occurred to me, until today, that God might actually have a better purpose for my resources and time than I do. What I'm saying is, living recklessly FOR CHRIST isn't an excuse for me to be the natural idiot that I am. He can use that stupidity for His glory, but it is my duty to discern whether I'm doing something that God really wants me to be doing, or something that I just feel like doing. *Sigh* I don't know whether I'm preaching to the choir and I'm the only idiot who has this issue, or whether this is actually a relevant topic, but I just wanted to share my new knowledge. Again, I'm not trying to say that we shouldn't live radically for Christ - I'm just saying we should do it for a purpose, and not confuse our own ideas with God's. God is sensible, and we should be, too, in whatever way that applies to us. For me, obviously it's money, but it may be something else for you, or maybe it doesn't even apply to you. I don't know. I'm rambling. I'm going to stop now.  :P 

Sweetly Broken

I know this isn't one of my long shpiels, but this song best describes how my spiritual state is right now, and I hope it brings you back to the cross as it did for me.

a photo of my heart

Come, let us return to the Lord.For He has torn us, but He will heal us;
He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days;
He will raise us up on the third day,
That we may live before Him. So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.
His going forth is as certain as the dawn;
And He will come to us like the rain,
Like the spring rain watering the earth.
  Hosea 6:1-3 

 I cannot count the times that I've referred to this passage... I've always known it was a special passage for me. But, I am now clinging to the hope that is so evident in it in a way that I never have before. In the past, it was a faint remembrance of what He had done for me before. But now, it is a promise that I am holding on to desperately. You see, I have been going through a time of much conviction and growth and... it hurts. It is encouraging because I know I must be more teachable and seeking after the Lord more fully, but that doesn't mean that it hasn't been painful. I constantly finding myself asking my Father, "Can we be done yet? At least for now? I can't go on like this, Dad!" There are so many times when I've wished myself away from... myself.  But this passage has been keeping me going, this and other passages, songs, friends, and the many other blessings that God has been sending my way. He will heal me. He will bandage me. He will revive me. He will rain on me, on my thirsty, cracked soul. Life is not supposed to be easy or simple. It's not supposed  to be soft and comfortable and warm. Not here, anyway. The pain isn't going to go away until we are perfected, in a perfected kingdom. But He is faithful... oh, so faithful.